My First Chemo Treatment

I'd asked questions, researched online but I still wasn't sure what to expect. Thankfully my nurses, Beth and Jackie were awesome. They had told me that my treatment would last about 7 to 8 hours. They told me to bring a snack and a drink.
They had taken time during my initial visit to give me an overview of what to expect.

Still when the day came, I was very nervous. My blood pressure went sky high. Beth suggested yoga breathing and after 10 minutes my pressure started to go back down. I was fortunate that all my chemo treatments were given in a room adjacent to my doctor's office and examination rooms. Only ladies were receiving chemo. I wasn't witnessing children and others getting their treatments. That would have been even more emotional for me.

I was able to receive the chemo via my veins. I had hoped that would be the case. I didn't want to have a port if possible. Thankfully, there are a variety of options to receive the chemo. The day I started treatment, some ladies had ports, some were getting it in their stomach area. Happily they were able to thread the IV needle into the vein on my right wrist.

As instructed, I'd drunk lots of fluids during the days prior to my treatment. That combined with the IV fluid that was being put into my body made it necessary to go to the bathroom. The nurses showed me how to carefully roll the rack with the IV bags into the restroom. Graceful I wasn't. Thankfully I never fell.

Most of the other ladies in the room receiving chemo fell asleep. Beth and Jackie thought for sure I would fall asleep too. Benedryl was being pumped into my system to help ward off any allergic reactions. I never fell asleep. I was too curious and anxious. I didn't want to miss anything that was happening.

On day one of my chemo, I met 2 ladies who were getting their final treatments. It made me feel hopeful.

Some of the ladies came daily for chemo. Some came several times a week and others had treatments that were shorter than mine. It was a reminder that there are different chemo "cocktails" and treatment schedules based on various cancers, stages and individuals. Another reason that although it is okay to share you are cautioned not to compare circumstances.

In the late afternoon, as the 2 ladies were "graduating chemo," I heard another lady speak up and say, "Enjoy it while you can. Chances are you will be back here in 3 months. This is my third round."

My heart sank. Around 4PM I was done with my first treatment. All the other patients had left. Jackie took time to tell me what to expect over the next several days and weeks. She said I should call them if I had any questions or if I felt any tingling or numbness.

As I stood and was about to leave, my eyes flooded with tears. Jackie sat me back down. She read my mind. "You think chemo means you are going to die," she said. She was right. That was exactly what I was thinking.

I had only known 2 people who had gone through chemo in the last few years. Both of them had died. I was equally concerned by what the other woman had said to the 2 ladies that had "graduated". As much as I want to live longer, I care about my quality of life. Her words had frightened me.

Jackie took time to talk with me. She explained that the woman in question had a totally different cancer and it was at a different stage. She reassured me. She and Beth emphasized that the positive attitude I'd shown so far was what I needed to maintain. They said there would be down times when I felt worn out, in pain and depressed. That was to be expected.

They said staying positive, following doctors directions and calling them if anything unusual or unexpected happened was important. I left feeling good. I believed I needed to remain hopeful so I could make a positive contribution as we move forward to save my own life.

You need to realize that not only will you be facing physical challenges as you move forward with your treatments but emotional challenges as well.